I like “realize”. I knew there was such a thing as a “sex change surgery” and even looked into it from a technical perspective because it intrigued me. It’s fantasized about moving to a new city and getting one; starting over.

I’d heard an offhand version of David Reimer’s story as kind of a conservative horror story. I’d seen movies and tv shows make plenty of fun of people who “pretended” to be “the wrong sex”. Monty Python’s “lady penis” scene still pops into my head sometimes.

I knew trans people existed and I’d seen a couple of people with “they/them” on their name badge. But I never really put together that those things were “real” in a meaningful way, or applicable to me and my experiences.

So then I kind of realized what it all meant.