Comment on Could we improve men’s mental health?
TheBananaKing@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I can’t afford hundreds of dollars an hour, and if I could I’d be in a vastly better place anyway.
I see thinking as something I do, not something that happens to me. As such, my inner Red Forman takes a deep fucking breath at the idea of paying someone else to tell me well don’t do that then.
My goals would involve the damage not being done in the first place. My coping skills in the face of what did happen, I’m honestly pretty impressed with. Unless you’ve got a time machine and a shotgun, there’s not a lot you can offer me.
Some support would be nice, but the suggestion that being angry about the harm done to me is a flaw on my part that needs fixing… rankles, you know? (and at the same time, validation-as-a-service would be as empty and downright masturbatory as extracting an apology from an AI)
the suggestion that being angry about the harm done to me is a flaw on my part that needs fixing…
If the day ever comes when you would prefer not being angry about the past, when you would prefer to embrace joy on a daily basis, then and only then would therapy be worthwhile. As long as you're not lashing out at others with your anger, then only you, alone, are being hurt by your anger.
kwking13@lemm.ee 1 year ago
This is actually very interesting and gets at the heart of the problem in many different ways. Very true that there’s a money barrier that excludes some that might be most in need of services. There needs to be a more focused effort on providing assistance to those who need it at reduced rates or with additional insurance help.
But the bigger problem still remains with helping men (and women frankly, but moreso men) to understand what therapy/counseling is and is not. For years psychologists have been naming symptoms and diagnosing individuals with such and such disease or shortcoming on the part of the individual. Just like everything in the corporate world, they rely on statistics and numbers to come up with definitions for problems and for solutions.
I’m currently enrolled in a master’s program to obtain my licensing for professional counseling, and I can tell you that the attitude on that is finally starting to bend. I hear what you’re saying about what not wanting therapy to simply be a self-affirmation circle-jerk because it doesn’t feel helpful to be told how wonderful you are by a person just to be knocked right back down again in a real-world experience.
But beneath even your resistance there’s still an admission that support can be helpful. In my personal opinion, I think counseling/therapy is a purposeful space to open up about experiences and feelings that you wouldn’t otherwise have an opportunity to express. Talking to yourself or talking to animals is helpful, but simply being able to unburden your thoughts to another human being that doesn’t know you and won’t judge you (or at least… they’re paid not to judge you) for your opinions or past mistakes can be a hugely beneficial step towards true healing.
Ultimately no counseling or therapy techniques can be effective until you decide they can be. It’s about helping to reframe your thoughts in ways you might not have considered, and it’s also meant to give you useful tools for coping with feelings both now and in the future. Successful counseling is one in which the client feels comfortable and confident about how to deal with the hardest parts of human existence.
More needs to be done to educate people about what they can expect from counseling so they can make their own decisions about whether or not it would be useful to them. Being able to word vomit my insecurities with a stranger for an hour is surprisingly uplifting and helps me clear my head towards whatever’s coming next.