I'm fairly convinced that Cooper's 200 year long revenge that they mentioned in I think episode 6 or 7 or whatever is targeted towards his I assume ex-wife. Her being the one who suggested to launch the nukes likely destroyed the entire relationship and he decided not to go with her into one of the vaults. She likely did not have much control over the launch anymore at that point either and, being safe herself, ended up nuking him and her daughter basically.