“Hand forged in the deepest basement, this keyboard has ultimate compatibility! Every key from every language, at my fingertips! 38 usb cables with the raw power to transcend operating systems and control multiple computers simultaneously… Oh ho ho, but that’s not even the true power of this keyboard. See these skulls? These are all that remains of the former owners… Lost souls, desperate for minimal latency, all lost their minds, and lives, by using the forbidden Synaptic Link. The one I will use to defeat you!”

And then he plugs a cable into his brain or some shit and they play a round of starcraft. Feel like I started in a corner and wrote myself into a different corner.