Comment on True love

• TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Billy aged 6 years just so you could double-down on your ridiculous point.

  I guess I should be accurate with numbers… Lord wouldn’t it sound bad if 44 year old was dating a 13 year old.

  But why stop at romantic relationships? Every relationship has the potential for manipulation.

  And you are saying all relationships have the same impact on your life as a marriage or long term relationship? Or are you just asking incredibly dumb questions?

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  • Indigobunting@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Speaking from personal experience, many of my non-romantic friendships have had as great or greater impact on my life than did my long-term romantic relationships. I don’t think that’s so uncommon.

    But the impact isn’t really the point. The point comes back to agency. Does a 19-year old have agency? You’re effectively saying that they do not, because they’re easily manipulated by experience and material resources. I’m saying that, while that’s possible, it’s also possible that a 19-year old sees someone who is more experienced and has material resources and decides that’s a good enough reason to be in a romantic relationship. I mean, do you think sometime in the last 13 years that Chloe Mendel could have developed sufficient experience and material resources of her own such that she could have decided to leave? Or do you think that even as a 30-something woman she’s still being manipulated?

    I don’t know if 18 is the right age to determine that someone is an adult, but I do think that once we draw that line, we can’t selectively decide what’s good and bad for them. I don’t think you can say an 18-year old shouldn’t be allowed to decide who they want to fuck while also saying they can vote and decide which politician gets to fuck us. Like, if you think a 19-year old is so easily manipulated, then they certainly shouldn’t be allowed to vote because they could be manipulated by some 44-year old into voting against their best interest, right? This is the slippery slope to which I was referring.

    I understand the POV that people feel like a 19-year old is being taken advantage of. If a 43-year old started dating my 18-year old niece, I would be pretty disappointed. But if they were genuinely happy together, who am I to stand in their way? This is also the analogy to queer relationships: just because it elicits a disgust reaction in someone doesn’t mean it’s morally wrong. I understand your point is different here in that the power imbalance is the potential problem, and it’s an argument that has merit. But it’s also well within the spectrum of possibility that Mendel and Corgan are genuinely happy together, and who are you to tell them that they can’t be?

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    • TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Speaking from personal experience, many of my non-romantic friendships have had as great or greater impact on my life than did my long-term romantic relationships. I don’t think that’s so uncommon.

      You’re talking about emotional impact alone. Someone who lives with you, shares a bank account with you, and owns property with you obviously has more ability to control you and abuse you.

      The point comes back to agency. Does a 19-year old have agency? You’re effectively saying that they do not, because they’re easily manipulated by experience and material resources.

      Are you trying to claim someone cannot dilute someone else’s agency? that’s the whole problem with a power imbalance in a relationship, that your partner can use their power to isolate you from your agency.

      19-year old sees someone who is more experienced and has material resources and decides that’s a good enough reason to be in a romantic relationship.

      Again my criticism isn’t about the decisions made by the person who just legally became an adult, it’s on the older person.

      I mean, do you think sometime in the last 13 years that Chloe Mendel could have developed sufficient experience and material resources of her own such that she could have decided to leave?

      Do you think that people always leave bad relationships when thing become unhealthy?

      don’t know if 18 is the right age to determine that someone is an adult, but I do think that once we draw that line, we can’t selectively decide what’s good and bad for them.

      When did I say I wanted to do that?

      I don’t think you can say an 18-year old shouldn’t be allowed to decide who they want to fuck while also saying they can vote and decide which politician gets to fuck us.

      Again… When did I say that? What I said is this guy is gross, immature, and wants to take advantage of young women.

      Like, if you think a 19-year old is so easily manipulated, then they certainly shouldn’t be allowed to vote because they could be manipulated by some 44-year old into voting against their best interest, right? This is the slippery slope to which I was referring.

      19 years old should vote because the laws are pertinent to their present and future…

      I understand the POV that people feel like a 19-year old is being taken advantage of. If a 43-year old started dating my 18-year old niece, I would be pretty disappointed. But if they were genuinely happy together, who am I to stand in their way?

      That is a big “if” you are relying on. What if that 43 year old was love bombing them and telling you on the side that they were going to eventually leave them a broken mess? How often do you think these relationships are genuine compared to predatory. How do you tell the difference in the beginning?

      This is also the analogy to queer relationships: just because it elicits a disgust reaction in someone doesn’t mean it’s morally wrong.

      You can literally validate any abusive relationship with that same thinking because it’s made to exclude context.

      “Just because slavery elicits a disgust reaction in someone doesn’t mean it’s morally wrong.”

      Mendel and Corgan are genuinely happy together, and who are you to tell them that they can’t be?

      When did I say they can’t be happy. What I said is that he is a disgusting and predatory man.

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