There best way to understand suicide is as a form of intimate partner violence: suicide is a form of murder in which the relationship between the victim and their killer is that they are lifelong partners who share a body.

Imagine if you learned that your grandmother had been shot and killed in her bed by your grandfather, who left a note explaining that he had determined that this was in the best interest of everyone involved and then surrendered himself to the police.

The sense of shock and loss would be tremendous. The fact that the killer is someone close to you, who insisted that the killing was intended to be merciful doesn’t alleviate the sense of betrayal. You would still be hit with the trauma of great, sudden, unexpected loss.