The worst toots of my life was after White Castle; this was 10 years ago, and I’ll never forget.

I had to get my state car inspection done one morning; the check engine light was on, so I needed to drive a few hours with the mechanic’s scanner plugged into my OBD reader after he shut off the check engine light.

Of course, the relevant detail here is that I had some White Castle sliders the night before and I was hotboxing myself with my own rancid ass farts for like 4 hours . It was a brittle ass winter so I couldn’t lower the windows very long, and vents were not helpful. It took absolutely forever for the scanner to do the thing, and at one point my car shut off in a fluke while I stopped to use the restroom and had to do it all over again .

It was the one and only time I ever had White Castle; I never will again to avoid being haunted by own farts like that.