Damn… something touched a nerve.

The fact your first advertising point for kratom is that “it does not show up on drug tests” says everything. If you came in suggesting it to someone saying they’re struggling with opioid addiction, then yeah, maybe (although it’s inconclusive). Just showing up and recommending this dangerous, addictive garbage with no caveats, though, is gross.

It’s not actually heroin.

Yeah, that’s why I called it “gas station heroin”; it, like you said, binds to μ-opioid receptors. It’s functionally a bootleg opioid being sold in gas stations. “Gas station heroin” fits.