Well, I think that too but mental illness is considered an insult where I live. Once I was all alone and not being with my parents, my mom went super angry and yelled at me which could be translated in English as fuck off you sick brain, depression patient. It is considered as something spiritual and you cannot express that. Even being attracted to same gender too is considered a mental illness by my parents and I guess, I would be left undiagnosed and untreated cuz even if I made them agree, the therapies are expensive and most of the time the psychiatrists and therapists will just say “read the scripture, do your prayers, marry” like wtf, why am I paying you? This shit is eating me up and it feels like I am being destined to ruin my life. I try to make myself believe that life is good and I am fine but there is something in me that screams no, you are not fine, world is shit, you are shit too. Sometimes I wanna end myself but I cannot cuz if I fail, I can also end up in jail.