Lemmy is an Internet forum which means even the community spaces made for women are full of input from men. It’s also filled with people employed in tech which is a bastion of highly paid non-union white people. White people who also, as you point out, view themselves as enlightened allies and thus lash out when that image is marred. The closest you’ll find to allies are in queer spaces and the communist ones, but some members of those groups also frequently whip out the “no war but the class war” card right in your face, as if they would be the ones to know. I saw one of your original posts and knew exactly how it would shake out. I’m also really not surprised it’s a similar energy in here. I’m sorry.