I once bit of a piece of sausage, quickly noticed it was too hot to chew, and decided in my infinite wisdom that the best way to handle this situation was to swallow the unchewed piece. It was too big to go down on its own, but whatever self preservation reflex kicked in also took forever to make it go back up, so I had enough time to decide I didn’t want to make a scene at the dinner table, so I had to force it down by swallowing more and more spit to make my esophagus move the right way again. Pretty sure alternative reality me chocked on that.

Almost impossible to make a series of worse decisions in my lifetime.