Not gonna lie, it’s difficult to work on all the things you’re mentioning. Repressed memories, out of touch with emotions, unable to think and talk, general lack of drive, chronic exhaustion, isolation. They can be worked on, but it’s a hard process to go through.

You can literally search for “neurodivergent therapist cptsd” in your area and see who pops up, they often list their specialties online. Maybe you can find one that does virtual sessions so you don’t have to travel? You’ll also need to flat out tell them things like “I don’t feel emotions and want to know why” because they can’t always guess what’s going on (or not going on) in your body. Tell them you have trouble thinking during conversation, too. You’re allowed to take as much time to answer, even days, if that’s how long you need to process something. Right now you’re in the habit of automatically doing what you think is expected of you (fawning/people pleasing), but one of the first steps in undoing trauma is learning how to prioritize yourself and your own needs instead. This is why having a safe person is important; when your nervous system is in survival mode (which is probably most of the time for you currently), you’ll just keep dissociating and not be able to think, feel, or communicate clearly.

I’ll send you a DM with more info.