OK, that gave me a good chuckle haha

As someone who does shave his bush by choice, I can’t imagine going completely smooth. It takes forever and the burns and ingrowns can’t possibly be worth it, let alone demanding that of someone else? If someone wants to remove the hair down there, I really don’t get why the default assumption is to shave so close to the skin rather than trim (so it’s a bit like elongated stubble.) It also looks better than totally clean IMHO.