I have a similar relationship with my neurologist. I’ve been seeing him for over 15 years for stabby appointments. That is to say I get something like 60-80 injections every time I see him. He isn’t in a position to give me tests, but he does use the things I say to help his other patients.

Its botox injections for migraine, and he’s one of the first people to pick up doing it, so he’s seen some shit. Nothing I say surprises him at all, unless its FUN. So early on when my skin was still reacting to it big time, i told him i sort of liked that I looked like a klingon after my appointments, and thats what I always told people because I needed to go to a brewery after to make the pain suck less.

Im also almost always on board to be a training pin cushion for residents. So much that if the resident doesn’t understand what I’m offering them (a willing participant to their education; a unicorn), he just says “if you are ready to practice injections, she’s offering, and she doesn’t flinch”.

Because I’m used to it. I try not to flinch because that’s worse. I’m pretty upbeat about the whole thing. And I recently found out he has patients who scream about it every single spot. Holy fuck. I can’t imagine being that sensitive. So now i understand why he admitted to his existential crisis to me. (“I feel like I’m going to hell for causing people such pain as part of my job” he’s retirement age or older, so understandable thought)