Hate having carpet. Whose idea was this? Considering just spraying it down with diluted benzalkonium chloride from one of those big sprayers or using a cheap handheld steamer bought off eBay. But it is kinda grubby and I’m a bit worried about leaving the toxic to cats carpet foam spray I used on 😕

Grief is combining with everything else going on and has pushed me into an actual mental health crisis. I’m getting help and all but my god this sucks. I just wish it would end. Starting Endep at a very low dose to try and dull this abdominal pain because it’s worsened under stress and so severe I can barely eat.