Eh, I waited around quite a while hoping to find something like this but eventually caved. I now have three cables that I plug into my MacBook Pro: MagSafe charger, USB C DisplayPort for 3840x1440 @ 144Hz, and USB C hub for audio / peripherals / storage. This way I can decouple charging from my external display and peripherals, so I am not constantly keeping my battery at 100%.

That hub above I mentioned is a CalDigit Soho, which supports almost everything I wanted: USB C, 90W, DisplayPort and HDMI, type C and A female ports, SD card reader, and detachable USB C cable. The only issue I have right now is the lack of 4K 120Hz…