I think you’re missing the major thesis of my comment. This is not at all about trust. For example, they literally do not understand when they are behaving like a bully. It requires educating them. They don’t understand when they are being rude sometimes. They don’t understand many aspects of culture, why would they? I’m not going to let middle school group dynamics shape my kids moral compass. Empathy needs to be taught, sometimes very explicitly.

I’m sure they will come to us for advice and help, and I also know they won’t come going to us for everything, which is fine. But I’m not going to half ass raising my kids. That goes for dozens of topics.