You really never know until you’re in the moment.

I was once in a situation like that… When people started screaming I was already carrying my niece under one arm (who was a preteen no longer usually carried) and bringing her to my stepdad and telling him to get her out of here. I didn’t realize what I was doing, I didn’t hear her asking me what was happening until I was power walking towards the screaming and telling my mom (a nurse) who asked what to do that she should follow me to see if there was something to be done

Turns out a woman offed herself in a bathroom, there was nothing to be done. I snapped out of it, and I was more disturbed by how calm I was during the whole thing than anything else

But now I know. My mind will shut off and I’ll act…I have the memory of what I did, but not a single thought went through my head during the event. I was equally ready to fight someone with a gun barehanded or to cover my hands in blood to slow the bleeding. I probably would barely notice getting shot in that state

I guess I always thought I’d be the heroic type, but lots of people do. I’m shocked at how effective I was in the moment… My priorities were followed perfectly, I locked the fuck in, head empty, no thoughts, no hesitation

I think that’s always what it’s like. And that’s why you never really know… I’m not a leader, in fact my step dad is and I hate telling people what to do. But when the chips are down, I bark orders that people obey and run towards the danger automatically

And I’m pretty proud of that