Comment on Free Talk Friday - December 5th, 2025
gcgallant@sub.wetshaving.social 1 week agoIsn’t it awful that society and our upbringing conditions us that “boys don’t cry”?
My generation (I’m in my 70’s) was brought up to be stoic, gut it out, and not be so sensitive. My children (mid-30’s) were brought up to reach out for whatever help they need. Overall, I think this is much healthier, but the “old way” forced most of us to take responsibility for our state of mind and not abdicate it to a therapist.
DaveWave94@wetshav.ing 1 week ago
That’s definitely a fair and interesting point. I personally think a combination of both would be the ideal path. Me, growing up in the late 90s through the 2000s in rural East Germany, I was mostly just told to toughen up, don’t cry, swallow your anger, etc. - so I often try to figure out difficult times on my own, trying not to bother anyone. I see where you’re coming from though, as I also follow some ADHD communities where everyone blames every little flaw on their ADHD. I mean, it’s certainly not the same for everyone and most likely, it’s a spectrum disorder like autism. It’s also definitely a part of me, but it doesn’t define every single aspect of my life. Just because I have executive dysfunction, I can also just be lazy sometimes. Or do 8 hours of work in just 4, depending on the circumstances. Even though I have time blindness, I can manage to be punctual. I still managed to get two different degrees in the medical field - occupational therapist and registered nurse, while others lament that they’ll never have a successful career with their ADHD. It’s just a matter of the right coping strategies and working with my strengths instead of against my flaws IMHO.
So I’d personally say we should strive for a golden middle. Don’t be a wuss, but crying is okay if you’re overwhelmed with sadness. Don’t let your conditions define you, learn to appreciate what you can do well instead. Ask for help if needed, but also offer your help - we’re social beings after all.
gcgallant@sub.wetshaving.social 1 week ago
Very well said!