Mate, let’s first focus on getting you better. Nevermind how the parents would react, parents aren’t there forever and their reach on our lives can only go so far. I know in Asian culture things can get nasty, but at the end of the day there’s just you and your sense of self. It gets better as you age and get to know yourself more and work through the issues left by trauma. But we need to get away from the morbidity aspect, that’s not good for you.

Sorry, I’m not trying to be your therapist, but there’s some relatability in your words, I feel an impulse to help.