I wouldn’t say a PoS but clearly has a lot to learn - and what sounds like a crisis is not the place to do that. And he sounds like he has a lot to learn.

As a father, I believe that at a minimum you should care for your kids at least ONE day every week on your own, preferably more. And not just the fun stuff, either. Make sure it comprises bed time, bath time, making and eating meals, as well as getting the little tykes out of the house. Either parent needs to be able to cope alone, and more importantly, trust that the other can, too.

My suggestion is that he needs to have a frank conversation with his wife, and commit to the above care routine. He needs to be able to do this in a way that allows him to admit he doesn’t know things and get advice. But he does need to do the work and ensure his wife feels supported.