Yes good advice here. I find the simplest thing to say and the hardest thing to do at the time is to notice when I am taking things personally and then just stop that. Nothing the other person is saying is actually about me and all about them. Of course if something they are saying is fair or useful then I can use that later to see why it hurts and what that might be pointing to. Another great book is the four agreements.
noretus@sopuli.xyz 4 days ago
Look into Non-violent Communication And also this pastebin.com/ZHhS044M
Both require very, very stern honesty with oneself and understanding the difference between FEELINGS and NARRATIVES about feelings. You both need to commit to this, and NOT police each other - when one of you sees the other fail, it’s on them to translate, not to guilt trip.
CatpainTypo@lemmy.world 4 days ago
sopularity_fax@sopuli.xyz 4 days ago
Second NVC. Just buy an app that helps structure your script that it goes thru the procees fill in the blanks style kind of and it will give you a decent starting point
rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
This is very good advice. Also, commit to actually listening to the other person