Comment on Are old people usually attracted to other old people?
ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks agoI don’t see how I could want to date someone who I wouldn’t want to have sex with. The man I mentioned who is no longer attracted to women his age has a person in his life who was his girlfriend when they met 25 years ago and the two of them still enjoy spending time together but they no longer have a physical relationship.
I can understand how you don’t want to date someone a lot younger than you, although I don’t have any personal experience with that - I’ve never had a partner more than a couple of years younger than I am. However, I’m a man who has had little in common with most of the women I’ve dated, simply because I have little in common with most women. (My hobbies might be crudely called “autistic”.) Thus, for me dating has involved finding women I get along with surprisingly well despite having so little in common.
Maybe I really wouldn’t enjoy the company of someone a lot younger than me, but the main problems I foresee are that (1) no one like that would want to date me and (2) even if I found someone like that who wanted to date me now then I doubt she would still want to date me when I was old as opposed to just middle-aged.
DrainKikoLake@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Aw dude, no, flip it around: I can’t imagine having a sexual relationship with someone I’m not romantically entwined with. Real intimacy is about so much more than sex – sex is part of it, but it’s also about trust and openness and what you’ve lived through together… It’s a whole package and you’re focusing on one small aspect & not even looking at the rest.
I’ve been married 13 years. We’re aging. I birthed three kids and my stomach looks bizarre now. We’ve got grey hair, we’ve both had a variety of body shapes and sizes over the years… our love has only grown and the sex has never been better. Don’t take your friend’s anecdote as something that happens to everyone. It doesn’t. (You should talk to someone who works in a senior’s home sometime; people your grandparents’ age are still sexually active despite being pretty far from the bloom of youth!)
I agree with a lot of the other commenters that people in their 20s are nice to look and and can be fun to talk to but also seem like children to me at this point. I couldn’t even imagine pursuing someone so much younger than me; mentally and in terms of experience we’re way too far apart.
Ps. Don’t look at who you’re most physically attracted to & assume everyone feels the same way. I’ve always thought that men hit their peak around age 55.