I feel like most of the objections could be satisfied by having non-essential holodeck stuff in rooms only.

So you have a bed and lighting and core furnishings without it. But you get to use the holodeck to adjust all that to your taste, decorate the room, and othewise make the space yours. Maybe you get a virtual companion if you are lonely.

OTOH, I think replicators are already capable of doing most of what would be done by the in-room holodeck in that case.

To me the energy needs don’t really matter since energy consumption only matters in emergencies in Star Trek usually. If the first things you lose when there are power issues are your decorations and your virtual companion, I think that’s OK…