I have never meet your cousin, and yet I envy him.

If we ever do get practical body modification, the second thing I’m doing is getting sealable nostrils and ears, so can swim in comfort at any reasonable depth.

The first thing, of course, is getting everything that’s just fucking broken in my body fixed. The knee I fucked up doing moguls, and is getting more gimpy the older I get; the elbow I messed up trying to parkour down some stairs; my chronically fucked up back, thanks Army!