Comment on How was your valentines day weekend?

• fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Them:

  Nothing happened

  Me:

  • Gives advice that has nothing to do with presents.

  You:

  no to whatever is going on with saying they need presents on valentines.

  You just went on a tirade because you misread comments. Hope you had fun.

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  • KeenFlame@feddit.nu ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Thanks for clarifying your alternate version, that’s not what it says if you read

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    • fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Never take advice from internet strangers. But it nonetheless will be given, so here goes.

      What’s that, no presents in that?

      Tell your partner your relationship will not last without change, and that you want to have small, short conversations with takeaway actions more regularly. My guess is that’s the truth, and communication, even a little, can help tremendously when both parties engage.

      Oh look, communication, but, no presents?

      Saying your relationship will fail and end bluntly will make them scared of that actually happening, because they most likely currently feel secure enough in the relationship to ignore your needs. This is common unfortunately, often born of time and repetitiveness.

      Oh no… Still no presents and we’re close to halfway through.

      Make sure they ubderstand that conversation doesn’t have to he daunting (that will scare then), but simple and easy single topics at a time. The first few may be longer, but they will get shorter, and tell them that you are open to talking to someone together if they feel it is warranted or have trouble having those conversations on their own (that alone may spur them to engage).

      Oh crap, more about conversation.

      Peppering in positive commentary or actions, like what you enjoy from them (especially what they do for you) and positive actions (like planning a weekend away or a night out) can also help take the strain out of the conversations, too.

      Hmm, ways to make conversation more comfortable, but presents aren’t it.

      Sorry you are going through this, mental and/or emotional dissatisfaction in a relationship is rough, but assuming you really want to work through it, it is possible to get brick walls to move.

      And affirmation.

      Reading comprehension is hard, I guess.

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      • KeenFlame@feddit.nu ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        You did not read op maybe it seems like. Very hard to get through, you must be a great communicator

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