If you don’t understand why people do something even if they ‘suck’ at it, then you’re asking others to do something you’re not willing to do yourself.

If you were being physically abusive and couldn’t help it, would you still think they should accept that as just ‘you being you’? Would you accept it? You are verbally abusive when you don’t like something, perhaps even if they can’t help it… They practice passive avoidance if they don’t like something.