“…when I’m upset (which is admittedly ~90% of the time but I can’t control that).”

You should note that you are talking about your anger which you recognize is a problem for you and others. Yes it is a turn off.

You might currently lack the awareness and skill set to control your mood but this is something you can develop through therapy. It is literally what therapy is for. I hope you find what you need to resolve your anger.