I’m in the “make up an excuse and don’t show up” camp. If I went to a friend’s family gathering and my friend tried to pawn me off on a relative with a conversation starter, I’d probably have to leave. I don’t go anywhere without an exit plan, and I’ve been known to dip out of restaurant waiting areas because it was too crowded to be comfortable while I wait. Last year I skipped a concert for my favorite band that I paid extra to get the VIP passes for just because I couldn’t even think about being in the crowd. Social anxiety is a real problem, and I appreciate you giving some input on how to help others deal with it. I’ll add by saying that if you know a friend has a hard time with it, be upfront and ask them if they are comfortable with the situation BEFORE the get together. Let them know if you will be there with them the whole time, or if they will be flying solo. I don’t not want to go to social gatherings, I just need to have my ins and my outs sorted before I dive headfirst into one.