Comment on Are dating apps a fraud since the beginning?
ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
I’m a man and I have sought out relationships exclusively through online dating*. It was extremely discouraging, but it did eventually work several times.
I used the free version of the old OkCupid - the one where you wrote a long profile and answered a bunch of multiple-choice questions. I only sent messages to women seemed highly compatible with me, and I put some thought into every message. My rough estimate is that one in ten messages received a reply. One in ten replies lead to a date. One in ten dates was the start of a long-term relationship. So that’s “only” one thousand messages per relationship. (It was actually harder than that because there weren’t a thousand women on the site who seemed compatible with me at any one time.)
I have no idea how the modern “swipe” apps work. Frankly they seem gross and I never seriously tried using them.
Jimmycrackcrack@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
With that kind of hit rate and timescale did you ever think the apps were unnecessary vs just meeting people? Or were you not really in a position to meet people by other means anyway?
ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
No, there were always lots of people relatively near me. Even when I lived in New Hampshire, I was only an hour away from Boston. Now I live in Manhattan. My issue is the standard one that nerds have: intense social anxiety, and all the solitary habits formed by decades of social anxiety.
The funny thing is that when my dog was alive, I made sure that he had an active social life. I would even ask strangers with dogs if their dogs would like to meet mine.
AA5B@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Damn, I can’t even do this: my dog has worse social skills than I do (we tried but she is a rescue with a hard previous life)
ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Mine was weird because he had very intense separation anxiety but as long as I was with him, he loved everyone and wasn’t afraid of anything. He could even watch fireworks with me - when the noise started, he gave me a look and when he saw that I was calm, he didn’t worry either.