I feel like I owe the DT regs an explanation

I didn’t delete my account because of the argument. I was in the wrong, regardless of whether or not I used anything that could be considered a personal attack. I was being an arsehole to Seagoon, and StudChud responded in kind to me

However, I have recently been feeling like a couple of people within the DT have been consistently hostile to me. StudChud in particular has gone off on me numerous times. Sometimes I deserved it, other times I don’t think I did. Then 2 other people over the last couple of weeks have really really irritated me. There was one particular interaction I had with somebody that really rubbed me the wrong way, honestly probably irrationally so. I feel like I can usually do okay with shrugging off both outright aggression, and hostility in subtext/random downvotes. But I really just reached the end of my tether and it was beginning to remind me of when I was in resi and was the physical and verbal punching bag for 3 other people. I can’t stand that

Regarding purging all of my content, I genuinely am sorry to every single person who has contributed to DTs. I wanted to just delete my comments, but Lemmy only has two options when you want to delete your account: delete your account and every single post, comment, and image you’ve ever uploaded, or don’t delete anything (which I did last time). Lemmy also has a function which really irks me, where if a post is deleted, every single comment becomes inaccessible to non moderators and administrators. I think that’s ridiculous and tbh think it provides too much power to people that delete their accounts. I would much rather they became inaccessible without a direct link or going through your comment history, like how it works on reddit

Deleting everything wasn’t an attack on the community or a way to try and get attention. Genuinely. I also realize in hindsight sight that I made up a pretty substantial amount of posts on aussie.zone, and with all of those gone, it seems like half the instance is gone

And regarding coming back, I don’t think I ever can. Deleting one’s account, and particularly purging all the content on it, is probably the most extreme action you can possibly take as a user. If I just delete everything then reappear a week later, it doesn’t mean shit and really just seems like a bid for attention. I’m not going to do that. I’ll lurk around from another instance, and occasionally if I think I can be uniquely helpful to anybody, I’ll drop in and try to help if I can. But my days as a regular are numbered. Kind of a self exile, if you will. Even now I feel like I’m being even shittier by writing this, but I feel like I need to clarify what happened and actively apologize to everybody. I’m deleting my account as soon as this is posted

I also feel the need to say - I probably deserve moderator action, too. I don’t think a ban is appropriate since I’m not going to be around so it doesn’t really do much, but my comments towards Seagoon in particular were not acceptable, and I deserved to be called out. After I wrote our my long-winded 2c on recent events, I was already about 70% sure I wanted to delete my account. The magpie post was kind of an attempt to reconcile without accepting I was wrong or my opinion was invalid, not implying that anybody else’s was. After i got "bruh"d by StudChud, I made my decision I didn’t want to stay around, but at the same time, by creating yesterday’s DT, I feel like I more or less signed and agreement that I would ensure the DT remain accessible for at least the entire day. So that’s why I waited until midnight to delete my account. The last few comments I made were basically a case of “I’m done with the lot of you, anybody who talks to me can go to hell” type lash out. Again, unfounded and not fair

If anybody wants to access the DTs, you have a little while to view them from certain other instances. I believe how it works is posts and comments are purged from the server immediately, but the “notification” if you will, to other servers (who also host copies of all comments/posts) is rate limited and sent one by one. I don’t know that for fact though. You can access them through another instance (ie sh.itjust.works, as Brion linked) until the deletions eventually do federate over. I won’t be doing anything to speed up the process. I also was previously working on archiving all DTs on to web.archive.org, so have a look there. I didnt do the most recent ones before I left though

And I want to say that I really truly am sorry for all of the chaos, hurt, and drama that I caused. I should have handled things better. @Seagoon_@aussie.zone I don’t know if you received my DM or not, and I don’t know if DMs disappear on account deletions, but I am really sorry to you especially. I was being an arsehole and extremely inconsiderate. I do truly hope your family and friends in the state are doing okay, and make it through the term safe and aren’t denied healthcare or help if they need it