Exactly this. My trans friends activaly avoid trans spaces for this exact reason. They just want a quiet life where they are treated equally. Seems like queerness has become so performative lately, I know it’s giving a lot of allies cold feet (not the best reason I know, but you gotta understand that some of em are here to support “rights”, and what they’re getting now is a whole ass culture completely detached from the rest of society in terms of norms).