Comment on Why, as a male, when emotionally do I only feel accepted by women but not by men?
Candelestine@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Toxic patterns get passed on due to resentment, often. It’s not like they wanted to have to suppress their emotions, but they were taught to. The idea people don’t have to anymore itches some people in a weird way.
Like, pretend you joined a club that had an initiation that was really painful, and it happened every year. Tradition. Now imagine that started to change, and you yourself were from that last year that ever had to do it. Now everyone who joins doesn’t have to. That could breed resentment for those new people and that new system, if you let it.
u202307011927@feddit.de 9 months ago
Yeah, I guess that change would confuse the hell out of me …
and I guess I recognize that kind of resentment, like “why/how the hell is him able to be so vulnerable and I not?”
So, it may be that men resent me for my strength?? Tf
Candelestine@lemmy.world 9 months ago
It definitely can get weird. All the self-reflection that helps you see it requires some sensitivity too, so never learning that sensitivity can partially prevent you from ever fully acquiring it, dropping those guys into a sort of trap that would be hard for anyone to escape.
I am eternally grateful to Fred Rogers for teaching me many different ways of seeing situations while I was young enough to still believe in him, which helped avoid this trap. Once I got old enough to think for myself, I could look back and choose for myself. I had options to choose from, instead of just my own local culture.